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At some point, it’ll seem like all of your female classmates go boy-crazy.  And with this comes a change in behavior.  Girls that are interested in boys begin to care more about their appearance.  They start to wear make-up, and focus more on their hair.  They try to wear the latest fashions, and opt to sit in groups within eye-sight of the groups of guys.  The conversation starts to focus more on who likes whom.  Girls begin talking about other girls in such negative ways.  Calling them names, and (basically) competing for the affection of usually a few “cute” guys.  Competing teams of girls spread nasty rumors about each other.  It is during this time period that, if you decide to speak your own mind, and have your own thoughts, you may fall out of favor with the ‘popular’ girls who begin seeing you as a threat.

Teen Group


Typically these popular girls are essentially “worshiping” a single girl or two, who is usually a cute girl, but is almost universally focused on the “wrong” things.  This girl “gets off” on being “queen bee”…and anyone who needs that attention to feel loved, valued, and special, has mental health issues that will manifest themselves in unexpected ways.  It is these “popular” girls who often drift into sex, alcohol, and drug use first.  After all, they are under tremendous pressure to be “mature” and sophisticated, and what’s more mature than acquiring adult problems?  And these adult problems (dealing with addition, alcoholism, broken families, pregnancy, birth control, sexual relationship drama) lead to depression and ultimately sets them up for many problems in later life.

Being popular, attending parties, drinking, driving, using drugs, having sex, and excessive concern of clothing designs, boys, and the energy expended on remaining popular and maintaining the rank of “queen” among peers is extremely stressful.  And ultimately grades suffer; the girl doesn’t learn the academic material that forms the basis of further advanced learning.  She doesn’t take or do well on SATs or ACTs.  And she cannot go to a respectable college or university.

She does end up with the “cute guy.”  But this guy is a buffoon.  He expects to get by on his good looks, and eagerly allows women to buy him things and take care of him.  In a woman, he begins to value this “mothering” type who expects nothing of him, but provides everything.  And this type of “dynamic high school couple” is likely to fail.  Not because they are a “popular” couple, but rather because their focus is on “high-school popularity” and not *life success.*

Life extends beyond high-school.  If you can truly incorporate this fact into your psyche, it’ll be easier to realize that what’s important today, will be barely recallable in 5 years!!