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Choosing A Good Partner

In high school most young women don't think about the quality of a person when they decide to start a romantic relationship.  The way it usually happens is, your friend tells his friend that you think he's cute.  And he tells his friend to tell your friend to call him.  You get his number, and spend hours talking on the phone.  His motivation is sex and popularity.  Your motivation is acceptance and love. 

But, as we mature, the dynamics change.  Our motivation changes.  They still value sex, and we value love...but many other factors become important to the both.  It is important to have standards when choosing a partner.  I think this is one of the most significant areas in life where otherwise smart women fail miserably.  If you choose the wrong guy, and allow him to impregnate you, you're setting the stage for life-long drama and instability.  This is a huge problem in the Black community, and contributes to the dysfunction that is so commonly experienced.  The family unit has deteriorated, where fathers are not involved, and women are raising children alone.  It's easy to blame the man...but the ladies need to take some responsibility because the men only treat us as good (or bad) as we allow.  And if we (as a group) made better choices regarding who we reproduce with, there would be less dysfunction and strife suffered by all...and the community would become more productive.  Teen Group

So how do you choose a partner that's worth your time, and worthy to father your children?

Start by analyzing yourself, and deciding which qualities in a man are desirable to you.

It would be wise of you to focus on qualities such as honesty,being family-oriented, loyalty, loving, positive, encouraging, supportive, etc.  Admittingly it is the physical appearance, and possibly our perception of his position in society, that may attract us to him.  Good looks is primitive sign of health, and position in society a primitive sign of his ability to provide and protect.  But ultimately it is important to override ‘primitive’ impulses that don’t serve us well.  And focusing on looks and money are shallow, and without the other qualities in place, will set you up for a very unhappy relationship.