Category: Coming Of Age
We were not designed to be virgins forever. Human are wired to procreate. Sex feels good for a reason. The connection that happens is by design – to keep families together which is usually a good thing. So there will be an appropriate time to lose your virginity. And on average, this occurs in late high-school.
If you have a guy pooh-pooh on wearing a condom, don’t have sex with him. If he’s not willing to wear a condom, he’ll be the guy who will get some disease. If he loves you, he will do whatever you want him to do (especially if it means he gets sex in exchange.)
You have to remember that your vagina is no different from any other woman’s vagina. Some women believe they have a “super vagina,” that somehow they’ll be able to “trap” a man, or after the guy is exposed to their “magic vagina” he will…change, or appreciate them more than the prior girl, or somehow think they are more special. This is not true. To a guy, the only thing that makes one vagina more special than the next…is the MIND of the woman. You cannot “stand-out” with your vagina. You can only stand-out with your mind. So make him SEE you, and fall in love with your mind. Make him show you respect. Make him wait, and wait, and wait…especially in high-school. If he loves your mind…he will wait. If it’s just about the VJ, he will not. And you have your answer.
And, if you DON’T have sex with him, and you “discover” he’s “cheated on you," you won’t care as much. Because you’ll realize that “if he’s not getting it from me, he can get it from her.” And he will see her as a slut, or why else would he still be chasing after your MIND but sleeping with her? Who’s really the fool?
What about birth control? Of course there are hormone based contraception to help prevent ovulation so an egg never pops out of your ovary in the first place. This is a short term solution, in my opinion, for a woman who is in a monogamous relationship. The reason is because, hormone altering substances over a long period of time seem to me like a bad idea. That is not natural, and with so many hormone related cancers so prevalent today, I would not be surprised if BCPs and hormones play a role. But, for the short term – 5 years or so – it’s probably fine.
There are many hormone based contraception methods to choose from. Pills, patches, shots are all hormone based and all “trick” your body into thinking it’s pregnant to prevent ovulation. It’s the frequency of the hormone application, shot, or ingestion of the pill that makes them different. And there are various strengths and combinations of hormones in the different pill/hormone formulations. Essentially, they all work the same way.
For a high school and college girl/woman – condoms are much, much better. Even though they are not 100%, they offer protection against DISEASE. Birth control pills do not offer protection against disease. And, may inadvertently contribute to disease because it gives a young woman a sense that having sex (and contraception) is solely her responsibility, and may lead to diminished vigilance on her part to make sure her partner(s) are okay.
I think the IUD (intrauterine device) seems like a good idea, but I was always wary of the whole “wire inside of my uterus” and it “causing a constant state of inflammation” preventing attachment of a fertilized egg to my uterus. I mean, the egg is fertilized…so it’s like an abortion, kinda. I’m not against abortion, per se, but not my first choice in birth control for sure.
The rhythm method does work, if you’re regular and are in tuned with your body. If you are able to check the consistency of the cervical mucus, keep accurate dates of your menstrual cycle, and your sexual relationship is disease-free and monogamous. Your partner must understand and be willing to not have sex when you are “fertile.” This method is not as effective as condoms or hormones, so it is a method best reserved for women who are older, more established when actually having a baby would be acceptable. But, when you’re first starting out, it’s not a good option because your cycle may change (especially after you start having sex, and as the hormones adjust), and with young teen-age guys, a barrier method will protect you better. Imagine a break-up. It’s already hard enough without having to worry about having a disease like HIV to boot.